Women Supporting Men: How To Support Men’s Mental Health
Empowering Men: Five Helpful Ways Women Can Be Allies for Men’s Mental Health
Traditionally, more women than men seek help for their mental health. One of the reasons for this is to do with the social stigma around men asking for support for their mental health. Although this is changing for the better, i.e., more men are talking about their mental health with other men, the change is slow. One of the ways that women can help is by encouraging men to talk about how they feel, and to seek professional help for their mental health.
The pressure that many men feel, to appear strong and self-reliant, stops them from seeking appropriate support. Even now, in 2025, there are men and women who believe these toxic messages regarding masculinity.
When a man struggles with his mental health, he is no less of a man, and he is not weaker than a man who is not struggling with his mental health. This is a really important point.
How Women Can Support Men With Their Mental Health
When we talk about women supporting men, it’s about creating a space for men within their relationships, to feel emotionally safe, without the fear of being judged negatively.
Many women may not realise this, but when the men in our lives open up about their feelings, we may not respond in a way that lets them feel OK about opening up and about sharing how they feel with us. We also need to remember that there are some real gender differences in how depression presents itself. When women familiarise themselves with these differences, they are in a better position to support the men in their lives.
If you really want to help men open up about their feelings and mental health issues, small changes in how we listen, respond, and show empathy, can make an enormous difference.
From listening without judgement, making time for the men in our lives, validating how they feel, and reducing the demands we place on them-any of the above can go a long way in helping men feel understood and supported.
Whether you’re in a relationship with a man, raising boys, or simply want to support your male friends, helping men recognise that they don’t have to have all of the answers, can go a long way in helping them overcome mental health challenges.
We mustn’t forget that many men have been socialised to suppress negative emotions like sadness or fear, so expressing these feelings can feel scary-it can leave them feeling vulnerable. By responding with empathy and understanding, rather than criticism or judgement, women can play a crucial role in supporting men’s emotional wellbeing.
Let’s look at five supportive behaviours to help a man open up emotionally:
1) Ask Questions-Don’t Make Assumptions
One of the reasons that men don’t open up is because they fear judgement or dismissal. For many, this traces back to childhood messages that “boys don’t cry” or cultural pressures to be strong, and to cope with what life throws at you. These expectations can make emotional honesty feel risky, even with loved ones.
When thinking about how to help a man open up emotionally, the goal isn’t to push for answers or to pressure him to talk.
Ask open questions that encourage conversation, like “how are you feeling about that?” and “tell me about your day”, rather than “what’s wrong”, which can lead to “nothing” as a response. When we use language that shows curiosity and interest, rather than words that can shut down a conversation, we can help men feel more comfortable opening up emotionally.
Avoid trying to fix or rush through what he’s sharing. This isn’t a conversation to “get through”; it’s an opportunity for connection. Women supporting men in this way shows that vulnerability doesn’t have to be met with judgement or silence.
Many men many not have the experience of feeling safe enough to open up emotionally, especially to women, and if this is the first time your loved one has been given a safe space to open up, be patient if he struggles to find the words to describe how he feels. I’ve worked with a lot of men who don’t have the emotional vocabulary to describe how they feel-simply as a result of lack of practice.
Over time, consistent emotional support from a loved one, can help a man feel safe enough to find the words, and to articulate how he is really feeling. And eventually, he may be ready to ask for help for his mental health.
2) Provide a Safe Space & Build Emotional Trust
Building emotional trust can take time. It doesn’t necessarily happen after a one-hour long heart to heart conversation. It develops through regular check-ins and consistent conversations.
When it comes to women supporting men, it’s the daily actions that matter most: truly listening without distraction, letting him know that what he shares with you won’t go any further, and being empathic even when you don’t fully understand.
Trust deepens when we show our loved one that we are really listening. For some men, this kind of trust takes time to build, especially if they grew up in a home where the expression of feelings like sadness or fear were met with mockery or humiliation.
Given the long-held societal beliefs about what it means to be a man, men need permission to be open and honest about how they are feeling.
Let me explain one thing: I am not saying that men should have to ask for permission to open up emotionally-but because they have been taught that expressing negative emotions (like sadness or fear) is “not what men do”, we need to unteach that message. This is what I mean by giving permission.
And so, you might say something like “it’s OK to tell me how you are feeling-I won’t think any less of you” or “it’s OK to say that you’re scared-I would be scared too if I was in your shoes”, or “I want to know how you really feel”. This is permission giving, as opposed to “man up”, “be strong” or “don’t let it bother you”. Because he’s thinking “it does bother me, and I do want to talk about it”. And so he should feel safe in doing so.
Sometimes, engaging in a shared activity together can facilitate and open the door to conversation. Walking the dog together, cooking side-by-side, or simply sitting and listening to music. These small rituals of togetherness can often lead to the conversations that men may find difficult to initiate, but are so important for men’s emotional wellbeing.
If you’re wondering how to help a man open up emotionally, remember that emotional safety and trust is everything. And it may happen at a slow pace. Trust, compassion, consistency and patience are the foundations of every emotionally secure relationship-whether it’s men supporting men, or women supporting men.
3) Withhold Judgement
When a man feels like he is not coping, he may experience a deep sense of shame. This is because from an early age, he may have learned that feeling sad or anxious means he is weak (i.e. not strong) and that men should always be strong. And when they do struggle, they can feel like they have failed. Failed in being a man. Of course these messages are unhelpful, but it is these beliefs that lead many men to keep their feelings to themselves. The ultimate goal is to help the men in your life realise that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Compassion means listening without judging. It means being empathic to how your partner/friend/son is feeling. If they say they feel burnt out-encourage them to tell you more, and resist offering quick fixes. Start with understanding. Sometimes the most healing response is simply: “I hear you-I understand how much you are struggling right now, and I’m here for you in any way I can be”.
Offering this kind of emotional support from partners nurtures men’s emotional wellbeing and strengthens trust. Over time, this approach makes it easier for men to speak honestly, without fear of being judged or “managed”.
4) Validate His Feelings
Validation is one of the simplest, yet most powerful ways to offer emotional support. It communicates “I see you and I hear you”. For many men, that kind of response feels unfamiliar but meaningful and comforting.
When men are struggling, they don’t always need solutions, they need to feel understood, and they want to feel a sense of “it’s OK to feel the way you do”.
Dismissing a person’s emotions can reinforce shame and make them shut down. By contrast, validating statements like “That sounds really tough” or “I can see why that would upset you” can build emotional trust and safety.
When their feelings are met with understanding, not logic or solutions, men learn that vulnerability can lead to emotional expression and connection. This strengthens both his emotional wellbeing and the relationship.
5) Give Him Space to Decompress
One of the most common complaints I hear from my male patients/clients is that as soon as they walk through the door at the end of their workday, their partner pesters them with domestic chores or DIY tasks (or complaints of their own).
Timing Is Everything
After a day of back-to-back meetings, presentations, and phone or video calls, many men come home mentally exhausted. Nobody wants to be handed a “to do” list as soon as they walk through the door. This can lead to men feeling unsupported by their partner, as if their partner is failing to recognise how exhausted and depleted of energy they feel after a long day at work. This isn’t to say that the partner isn’t tired too. No doubt, you are. But as for placing additional demands on somebody who has just walked through the door-timing is everything.
One of the most practical ways that women can support men and their mental health is to give them time to decompress and unwind when they arrive home from work. Every man is different, and for those who have a long journey home from work-that might be sufficient time for them to decompress, and they may arrive home in a good mood, willing and wanting to help in whatever way you need them to.
Allow Him To Unwind
For those who do need time, once home, to unwind-give them that space. It may be 30 minutes for a shower, a change of clothes, a bite to eat, a cuddle with the kids, or just sitting quietly. Give them that space before placing additional demands on them.
Acknowledging that your loved one has had a long day, can go a long way in helping them feel supported.
Recognising when somebody is emotionally drained and allowing them to recharge is one of the most meaningful forms of support. Giving them time to relax and recharge is a vital part of forming stronger, more compassionate relationships with men.
Encourage Men To Seek Help
As partners, mothers, daughters, sisters and friends, the emotional support we offer the men in our lives can be invaluable. But often it is encouraging the men in our lives to seek therapy that can be the most helpful action step they can take.
Having somebody objective to talk to is important for all of us. A mental health professional who will listen to us without judging, and with the expert skills to help us navigate the rough waters we may find ourselves in.
When we are in a close intimate relationship with someone, we can try our best to help them, but at the same time, it’s important that we don’t fall into the role of being their therapist. And this is true of male-female relationships or friendships, as well as male-male and female-female relationships or friendships.
Many men hesitate to seek counselling or therapy because they worry that it signals weakness. In truth, asking for help shows courage and self-awareness. That message is even stronger when it comes from someone they trust. You might say: “this is the best gift you can give yourself” or “you deserve to put yourself first”, etc.
These comments reinforce the idea that seeking therapy is a positive step. It also helps by way of normalising seeking the help of a professional, in the same way you would for a physical problem-you’d seek the advice of a medical doctor. There is no shame in seeking the help of a medical doctor, and there is no shame in seeking the help of a therapist.
Action Steps
If you’re wondering how to help a man who is struggling with his mental health, you can gently and with compassion, suggest he:
- Make an appointment with a GP (doctor)
- Do a Google search or ask ChatGPT for a therapist recommendation
- Do the research for him: provide him with a few links to therapist websites, encourage him to have a read, and to make contact with one or two to explore the possibility of starting therapy.
For additional help, resources like Mind, Samaritans and CALM offer confidential support. The Samaritans offer 24-hour support whereas Mind and CALM do not-please check their websites for their opening hours.
Normalising therapy and speaking openly about the available support systems for men will go a long way in helping men feel able to open up about their struggles.
Becoming a True Ally
Ultimately, when women support men in looking after their mental health, everybody benefits. In fact, regardless of whether you are a man or woman, when you are struggling with your mental health, it will inevitably impact those around you. And so it goes, that when you prioritise your mental health and take concrete steps to help yourself, those around you will also benefit. As a man, you become a better husband, partner, father, son, employee, manager, friend-when you make your mental health a priority.
Always remember that change starts small: a conversation instead of criticism; a pause before reacting; a reminder that it’s okay to ask for help. Every act of understanding challenges outdated ideas of masculinity and opens the door to healthier, more emotionally connected relationships.
When it comes to supporting men with their mental health issues, remember: you don’t need to have all the answers. Being a true ally can simply mean listening, validating, and reminding him he doesn’t have to carry everything alone.
Together we can build a culture where men feel just as comfortable seeking emotional support and therapy as women do.
Mental Health Support For Men In Canary Wharf, London
I understand how difficult it can be to take that first step in asking for help, but you owe it to yourself to do so.
When you attend for therapy sessions in my Canary Wharf practice, you will be made to feel at ease. My office is a welcoming space where you can discuss what is important to you, knowing that you will not be judged. Together, we will figure out what needs changing, in order for you to feel better.
I have been based in Canary Wharf for nearly twenty years, and I have worked with both men and women suffering from stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem and more.
My approach is compassionate, solution focused, and collaborative. I will help you make sense of your thoughts and feelings, and develop new coping strategies to help you move forward.
I offer online therapy video calls as well as face to face CBT sessions.
If you’re ready to take that step toward better mental health and emotional wellbeing, you can learn more about my approach or book a preliminary phone call to see if we would be a good fit.
