Toxic Masculinity and Men’s Mental Health

Gender Norms

You’ve probably heard the old messages about what it means to “be a man”-don’t cry, man up, just get on with it. And while it’s tempting to think we’ve moved past those outdated ideas, they still shape how you see yourself.

The release of Netflix’s Adolesence (2025) has been a stark reminder of how deeply these beliefs still run. The pressure to be strong, stoic, and unemotional remains embedded in our culture, reinforcing the idea that vulnerability equals weakness.

These unspoken rules are part of the wider mental health stigma in men, feeding into long-standing taboos that surround men’s mental health, fuelled by toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity discourages emotional expression, equates self-reliance with strength, and tells you that being vulnerable makes you “less of a man”.

Societal Expectations

From a young age, you may have been taught (directly or indirectly) that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Those societal expectations can become so ingrained that seeking support or opening up feels unnatural, or even wrong. You might feel pressure to appear strong, capable and self-reliant at all times, even when you’re silently struggling.

Toxic masculinity reinforces this idea, making you feel like you have to deal with everything on your own–no matter the cost to your wellbeing. The negative effects of toxic masculinity on men’s mental health, cannot be overstated.

Fear of Being Judged

Even when you know you’re struggling, you might hesitate to reach out because you’re afraid of how others will react. Maybe you worry your partner will see you differently, your friends will make jokes, or your colleagues will think you’re not coping.

In a culture that often praises emotional detachment in men, being emotionally honest can feel risky. It’s not just about being misunderstood-it’s the fear of being seen as broken, weak, or somehow “less than”. That fear can keep you isolated, even when connection is what you need most.

Feelings of Shame

Shame is often the silent force keeping you from seeking support. It’s not always about what others might think–sometimes, it’s about how harshly you judge yourself. Thoughts like “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “What’s wrong with me?” can lead to negative feelings including a deep sense of inadequacy.

Toxic masculinity teaches you that mental struggle is failure-that if you’re not coping, you’re not strong enough. But the truth is, shame thrives in silence. And silence doesn’t solve anything.

The Fixer Mentality

You might pride yourself on being a problem-solver-the one who keeps things together. So when life feels overwhelming, your instinct might be to power through. Asking for help could feel like you’re letting yourself or others down.

But this mindset is another product of toxic masculinity. It normalises bottling things up, and only turning to therapy when things hit crisis point.

The truth? Talking therapy for men isn’t about giving up-it’s about levelling up. It’s a proactive way to build the tools you need to stay grounded, focused, and present in every area of your life.

The Pressure to Perform

Life might feel like one long juggling act-keeping up at work, managing finances, showing up for loved ones – all while appearing fine. But under the surface you might be running on empty.

Talking therapy for men offers a space to step back and think clearly-without pressure, without performance. It’s not about slowing down for the sake of it; it’s about building emotional agility, so you can keep moving forward with purpose and clarity.

“I should be able to handle this”

This belief can leave you feeling like you have failed when you notice that you aren’t coping with problems as you would expect to. Instead of acknowledging that your problems and struggles are real, you might view asking for help as proof that you’re not coping. That can lead to ignoring your feelings of stress, anxiety or depression, and you may just try and carry on by working, and avoiding seeking therapy-all in an effort to prove that you are strong enough to do it alone.

“Others expect me to be strong all of the time”

Sometimes it can seem that others want us to be strong, but this is often a result of our own perception of what others want from us, rather than the truth. When we assume we know what others are thinking, this is called mind-reading. Mind-reading is a thinking distortion-we can not possibly know what others are thinking unless they tell us directly. And so in the absence of any evidence that your loved ones expect you to be strong all of the time, consider that maybe, just maybe, you can afford to let your guard down a little and show some vulnerability.

It is understandable that you might fear letting others down or losing face with friends, partners, or colleagues if you believe the thought “others expect me to be strong all of the time”. But the question to ask yourself is: “have they actually told me that they expect me to be strong all of the time, or is this my assumption?”.

“Others will think I am weak if I show emotional vulnerability”

Who are these “others” that you refer to? This belief is rooted in outdated gender norms and toxic masculinity, and it conveys the message that vulnerability makes you less of a man. This belief can stop you from seeking out support when you need it, because you fear judgement.