Asking for Help is a Sign of Strength, Not Weakness
5 Ways Seeking Help for Mental Health is a Strength, Not a Weakness for Men
When it comes to physical fitness, a significant number of men go to the gym with a friend. One of the reasons they do so is for motivation, and it can also increase levels of enjoyment. But another important reason men workout with a friend is so they have somebody to spot them when they lift weights or do squats, etc. Having someone spot you is not only important for safety reasons, but it’s also motivating to have someone encourage you to do more than you would if you were working out on your own.
When it comes to mental health, however, the situation is a little different. No, it’s very different. Men don’t tend to open up to their friends about how they feel emotionally. And they don’t tend to ask for help. Using the gym analogy-they don’t spot one another, and they don’t discuss their mental health with one another. Why not?
Why do men not seek help for mental health?
When it comes to a man’s emotional health, many men think “I should be able to handle this on my own”. If you have that type of thought, you’re not alone. But these kinds of thoughts can keep you stuck and prevent you from seeking help for your mental health.
The idea that “real men” or “strong men” don’t ask for help, or that asking for help is a sign of weakness, is outdated and harmful. In reality, recognising when you need support and asking for help is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself and your loved ones.
My hope is that by the time you reach the end of this blog post, you will understand why asking for help for your mental health is a sign of strength, not weakness, and that you will feel empowered to take the first step and ask for mental health help for men, and to prioritise your mental health.
1) Seeking help is a sign of self-awareness
We seek help because we recognise that we don’t feel like ourselves. We know that something is off, but we may not know what that is. This is a sign of self-awareness. It means simply noticing changes in how you feel, noticing changes in your behaviour, as well as recognising changes in your mindset, i.e., having more negative thoughts and thought patterns, and deciding to take action.
You don’t need to have all the answers, but just being aware that something doesn’t feel right is the first, and often hardest step towards asking for help.
Much like with a car, you can tell when something isn’t working quite as it should, even if you don’t know exactly what the issue is or how to fix it. That’s where expert support comes in. You wouldn’t expect yourself to fix a car engine by yourself -so take the pressure off feeling like you have to “fix” your mental health alone too.
2) Asking for help models strength and courage
If you are a parent, son, brother, friend, manager or mentor-to any other men, or young boys, you are leading by example in seeking help for yourself, because actions speak louder than words. When your emotions take control, the people around you can feel it-even if you don’t talk about how you are feeling. Others may recognise a change in you. They may have an inkling that something is not right.
But when you take responsibility for your mental health, you’re modelling something powerful: that it’s okay to ask for help, that strength includes emotional awareness, and that being in touch with your emotions doesn’t symbolise weakness.
When you are aware of your emotions, and you allow yourself to talk about how you feel, you demonstrate strength and courage, and this teaches boys and young men that seeking mental health support is a positive thing. You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops, i.e., “I am depressed”. But being able to say “I’ve not been feeling right lately” or “I think I may be depressed” is a start. The more men speak up about feelings of vulnerability and “not quite right”, sets a new standard for what strength really looks like.
This is your opportunity to be the example that breaks the cycle and redefines what it means to be strong and to seek help.
3) Seeking help means taking control-not losing control
One of the biggest myths is that asking for help means you’ve lost control. When in reality it is the first step towards taking charge of your mental health and taking your power back. Perhaps you have been suffering with feelings of anxiety, stress or low mood for the past few weeks or months? And these feelings and negative thought patterns have been difficult to manage on your own? Perhaps you have been losing your temper with your loved ones, or at work? This is what losing control feels like. Losing control is when your stress, anger, sadness, or anxiety feelings start running the show-damaging relationships and sabotaging your work.
Reaching out for support puts you back in the driver’s seat. And yes, I understand how difficult it is to take control when you are feeling awful. It can feel incredibly difficult, but it truly is a sign of inner strength to take that first step, and is such an important step in protecting your mental health for the future.
4) A sign of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your emotions- and knowing when to ask for help. It’s not a weakness. It’s wisdom.
At work, when something falls outside your area of expertise or responsibility, you probably know exactly who to delegate it to, or escalate it to-you know where to get support. Your mental health is no different. Being overly self reliant and not reaching out for support is not a strength-it’s self sabotaging and exhausting. Having a healthy degree of emotional intelligence means knowing when you are struggling with your mental health, and knowing when to ask for help.
Many top athletes, including Michael Phelps, LeBron James, and Roger Federer-regularly work with mental health professionals to stay at the top of their game. They understand that mental health struggles can weigh you down, limit focus, and keep you stuck.
Taking action and asking for mental health help before things spiral out of control, is one of the clearest signs of both emotional intelligence and self-awareness. It’s not just strong-it’s smart.
5) It’s a commitment to the people you love
When you don’t deal with your emotional wellbeing, your emotions often spill out-whether it’s snapping at your partner, children or losing your temper at work. You may also zone out or numb your feelings with excessive screen time, substances or porn.
Seeking support is a way of protecting those we love, and those who love us. Because when you feel better in yourself, it has a positive impact on your relationships with others and will bring more calm, clarity, and stability to yourself, and everyone around you.
Taking responsibility for your mental wellbeing isn’t selfish because getting help for your mental health doesn’t just benefit you-it can have far-reaching, positive impacts on the people in your life too.
The Benefits of Seeking Support for Mental Health
The benefits of seeking support for mental health go beyond managing symptoms. An important benefit to getting help for your mental health is an improvement in your relationships with others. You may also notice that your decision-making improves, as does your motivation, concentration and sleep. You will feel more in control of yourself and you will feel more supported in your day to day life.
How to Ask for Help for your Mental Health
1. Talk to someone you trust- a friend, a family member, or even the Samaritans. Simply stating “I’ve not been feeling like myself lately” or “I think I need some help for my mental health” ” is a good introduction to get an conversation going.
2. If feelings of depression, anxiety or stress are making it hard to do your job-consider speaking to your manager, especially if work is a contributing factor to how you have been feeling. Your workplace may be able to make adjustments while you are attending for therapy sessions. In the UK, employers have a duty of care under the Health and Safety at Work etc. Act 1974 and the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) provides guidance to managers on how to support employees’ mental health- especially if the workplace has contributed to your mental health problems.
3. You can also speak to your GP, who can refer you for talking therapy. Just a word of caution; there are often long waiting lists to access talking therapy on the NHS (National Health Service). If this is the case, you can reach out to a private CBT therapist directly.
Above all, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Many men are dealing with the same silent struggle. The shame or hesitation you might feel is real, but it’s time to break through that barrier and reach out to someone who you trust and ask for help. Help does exist, and things can get better.
Mental Health Help for Men in London
Mental health support for men is more accessible than ever. Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, burnout, low mood, or just feeling stuck or lost, support is available.
CBT sessions will give you the tools to manage your emotions and relationships in a healthier, more constructive way.
You don’t have to wait for a crisis before reaching out. It’s advisable to seek help early, before your mental health deteriorates.
If you’re based in London, I offer in-person therapy sessions in Canary Wharf, as well as online therapy sessions from the comfort of your own home or workplace.
As you can see, investing in your mental health and personal growth is one of the most meaningful things you can do. It is a positive step for your own wellbeing, your relationships, your career and your life-there are many benefits for you as well as for your loved ones.
