Depression in Men vs Women-Gender Differences

Men May Have More Irritability Than Sadness

Rather than showing emotional pain through sadness, many men experience depression as irritability or anger. This might come across as snapping at others, losing patience quickly, or reacting harshly to minor setbacks. In some cases, anger becomes a kind of shield. It becomes a way to push down feelings that seem too uncomfortable to face, like helplessness or fear. But this defence can blur the signs of depression, making it harder to recognise when something is wrong. As a result, many men delay seeking support, often until they’re in crisis.

Men May Be More Likely to Externalise Their Depression Symptoms

While everyone experiences depression differently, there are some gender differences in how depressive symptoms are expressed. Women may be more likely to acknowledge and communicate emotional distress. Men, on the other hand, may be more prone to externalising symptoms of depression, often in ways that are overlooked or misunderstood.

Externalised depression symptoms can take the form of:

• Persistent irritability or sudden anger
• Engaging in riskier behaviours (e.g., reckless driving, substance use, gambling)
• Physical symptoms such as chronic pain, headaches, or digestive issues
• Withdrawal, defensiveness, or hostility in personal relationships

Because these symptoms don’t align with the conventional image of depression, they’re often missed or misread. Friends and family members may also attribute these behaviours to stress or personality traits, rather than recognising them as signs of a deeper mental health struggle.

Men May Turn to Impulsive or Compulsive Coping Strategies

When emotional distress feels overwhelming, men are more likely than women to seek relief through impulsive or escapist behaviours. These strategies do offer a momentary sense of control or distraction. However, they come at a cost, because in the long-term, they don’t address the root cause of the discomfort.Such coping strategies might include:

• Substance abuse (alcohol or drugs)
• Overworking to avoid dealing with emotional pain
• Excessive video games or technology use
• Compulsive spending or gambling
• Risky sexual behaviour

Men Experience Key Differences in Triggers

For many men, self-worth is closely tied to productivity, control, and financial success. When one of these areas may not be going well, feelings of inadequacy and failure can ensue. However, these negative feelings may not always be obvious to others, and as a result, their depression symptoms may get overlooked.

Common triggers include:

• Job loss or work-related stress, especially in competitive environments like Canary Wharf
• Financial pressures, particularly when men internalise the role of primary provider
• Social isolation, often due to limited emotional networks or reluctance to seek help
• Unresolved trauma, including childhood adversity or PTSD from military or high-risk occupations

In these contexts, men’s depression symptoms may develop gradually and appear subtle at first. Without support, however, they can escalate in severity. Unfortunately, mental health stigma around vulnerability often prevent men from reaching out until the situation feels critical.

Men May Talk About Physical Symptoms

Men experiencing depression might describe their distress in physical terms rather than emotional ones. Instead of saying they feel sad or apathetic, they might talk about being constantly tired, struggling with sleep, or dealing with unexplained aches and pains.

Common symptoms include:

• Ongoing fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
• Gastrointestinal complaints such as stomach discomfort or nausea
• Muscle tension, headaches, or other vague physical pain
• Trouble falling or staying asleep

Because these symptoms don’t always point directly to a mental health issue, they might be misattributed to physical illness or stress. As a result, some men may undergo repeated medical tests or treatments while the underlying male depression symptoms remain undiagnosed and untreated. This can prolong suffering and delay accessing meaningful and valuable support.

Men Might Talk About Suicidality More Subtly

Men are statistically at higher risk of dying by suicide, and depression remains one of the strongest contributing factors. However, men often don’t articulate suicidal thoughts in direct or obvious ways. Instead, their distress may be expressed through vague statements that indicate hopelessness or a desire to escape.

Some examples include:

• “I can’t take this anymore”
• “I’m so tired-really tired”
• “Things will never improve”
• “Others would be better off if I wasn’t here”
• “I feel stuck/trapped”

These kinds of statements may be dismissed as venting or stress, but they can signal serious emotional pain.

Men May Neglect Their Hygiene

Depression often drains the energy and motivation needed for basic self-care. For some men, this shows up as a decline in grooming habits. This isn’t due to laziness. It’s often a result of emotional exhaustion, burnout or depression.

Examples of self-neglect include:

• Skipping showers or brushing their teeth
• Wearing the same clothes repeatedly
• Avoiding haircuts or grooming

In men, these signs are frequently overlooked or excused, especially if they live alone or work remotely. But poor hygiene is often a sign of a more serious mental health problem.